Managing Christmas

When someone important in a family has died, Christmas can feel so very different and hard to manage.

It’s not at all unusual for people to feel that they want to ‘cancel’ Christmas. When everything is so family-focused, the gap in a family is highlighted even more.  Christmas can feel like an enormous struggle with a strong sense that things can never be the same again, and facing the first Christmas without that special person can be especially painful.

Families tell us that the run up to Christmas – with all the anticipation and excitement that accompanies it – can be harder to deal with than the actual day itself. Often, people feel they don’t have the heart for shopping for presents, sending cards or entering into festivities - yet if there are children in the family, it is unlikely that Christmas can be ignored.

Read more about managing Christmas on our website

Also, you can read about Joanna and Matt's experience of Christmas after the death of their twins Oliver and Joseph

Update from the Regional Development Team

The Regional Development Team enjoyed time at Head Office in Saunderton this week.  It’s always good to come down and connect with colleagues and make sure they don’t forget us!   We’ve also been out and about in our areas as well. 

Last week Liz was in London meeting with Newham CDOP before travelling up to Staffordshire to meet with people from Health.  Shirley and I have also been travelling, spending four days in Middlesbrough and encountering some lively weather and even a power cut during our stay.  We managed to fit in some really positive meetings though.

On arriving on Tuesday we met with Teesside Hospice and their ‘Forget Me Not’ service before moving on to CDOP Middlesbrough to find out how they operate.

Wednesday found us with Mark Davis at Middlesbrough Voluntary Development Agency (MVDA).  Mark has been a great ‘find’ in the area with his local knowledge and the host of fantastic contacts he’s linked us with.

Thursday and we were back at MVDA as we were invited to attend an event centred around the ‘Best Start Boro’ initiative, a 10 year project to improve outcomes for children from conception to their fourth birthday.  We’re hopeful that the area of bereavement will have a place on the list of local priorities.   The James Cook University Hospital was our next port of call to link up with some lovely people at the bereavement services team before we headed off to the coast to Redcar where we met with Lawrence at The Junction, a great service which offers a whole raft of support to local children, young people and their families.  We loved their vision of Belonging , Resilience, Belief, Opportunity, Potential. Wouldn’t it be great if everybody could fulfil such a vision?

Energy levels perhaps should’ve been on the wane by Friday but there was no chance of that when we visited Heather at Together Middlesbrough seeing the fantastic community initiatives at the Trinity Centre before moving on to meet with Middlesbrough MIND.  Our trip ended with a visit to MP Andy McDonald’s office.  Andy was very positive about our work, really understood our remit and pointed us in the direction of more contacts.  He also offered further support and was keen to be updated.  

So as we hurtle towards the end of another year the project is progressing well.  We’re looking forward to moving it forward some more in 2014!

Rich Stafford

Getting ready for an abseil

Last week we visited the Pinnacle building in Milton Keynes which will be the venue for our abseil in May 2014.

Here's the view from the top!  Its a 100ft drop.

Anyone brave enough to take on the challenge or for more information contact Emma Riley on 01494 568912 or emma.riley@childbereavementuk.org

Introducing the Regional Development Project

How lovely to have a blogspot!  And thanks, Steve, for the Scottish update.  As the blog is fairly new, I thought readers might like some background to these Child Bereavement UK projects.  Last year, with DH funding, we commenced a three-year project to enhance bereavement support initiatives in six of England’s more deprived areas.  This has led us to Hull, Hackney, Liverpool, Middlesbrough, Newham and Stoke, meeting with other voluntary organisations, schools, health practitioners, MP’s, and more. We’re already improving signposting to services and liaison between various agencies through the Advisory Groups and the seminars we've held.

September 2013 saw us celebrating the first year of the England project, as well as the commencement of the Scottish project.

L-R: Ann Rowland, Director of Bereavement Services; Rich Stafford, Localities Development Co-ordinator (North); Shirley Potts, Director of Regional Development; Ann Chalmers, CEO Child Bereavement UK; Liz Morgan, Localities Development Co-ordinator (South) 

In the last couple of weeks we held conferences in Hull and Stoke, mostly aimed at education folk and partnering a local charity in each area, and Liz has been busy supporting a CHYPS programme at Richard House Children’s Hospice in Newham.  We are so grateful for the contacts we’ve been able to develop in each of our areas – we’ve met some great people who share our passion for raising awareness about bereavement support. Next week Rich and I are in Middlesbrough for four days and look forward to forging more relationships there – but more about that next time we blog!

Shirley Potts

News from the Scotland team

Last week the Scotland team attended the ‘Good Life Good Death Good Grief’ event in Edinburgh which was brilliant. There was a mix of presentations, drama, singing and yes ‘drinking’ to toast those who are departed. The idea of the day was to inspire everyone to go back to their work and home environments and have conversations about life, death and grief. I visited the ‘One wild life room’ where I was interviewed to determine what I would like to change to make my life more meaningful with the time I have left. Since no one knows when they will die it might make sense to focus on certain priorities. I am going to try and spin less plates and take more time to smell the roses.

The Scotland team has reached its first 3 month mark of existence and so far we have made fairly good inroads to achieving our intended outcomes. We have set up an advisory group in Dundee, provided training for over a hundred staff,  formed working partnerships and are beginning to just about feel as if we are actually doing some ‘work’, although this may never truly happen until we have successfully held our Scottish conference in 2015 where we can look back and see where we have been and what we have truly accomplished.

Welcome to our blog

Welcome to the Child Bereavement UK blog.  We'll be adding information here about what we're doing across the UK, updates on our training and fundraising events, news from our supporters and useful resources for professionals.

We hope you find it useful and interesting - and don't forget to tell your friends and colleagues to follow us too!